Saturday, March 26, 2005

Chris R., Reporting For Duty!

Forget everything you know about Christianity.

In fact, it's best if you forget everything you know, period.

Got it?

Good.

**********

We Christian Reconstructionists have been having a ball recently, and you should know why. In November of 2004, about 52% the United States of America voted for the conservative candidate George Bush. Obviously, this shows that the entire U.S. is a conservative country.

Furthermore, it shows that the U.S. wants a theocracy. Conservatism is the desire for smaller government and for traditional values: therefore, conservatives want a theocratic dictatorship. Don't let the "smaller government" garbage confuse you, my brothers in Christ. The moment a person votes Republican, they have declared forfeit to sha'aria. And that is why we are here.

Oo-rah!

The Christian Reconstructionists are now preparing takeover, and I, Chris R., am here to guide my brothers in Christ in our plan.

No, I am not Chris Rock. My name is Chris Recon, Christian Reconstructionist.

Why does my name allign so perfectly with my title? The answer: Shut up, you heathen.

I can understand why you may yet be confused with our purpose, but you see, we have an enemy. Magnum Serpentine, a progressive blogger, has proven too cunning for us. He posts our plans and secret intentions before we can give them away! With all three of his readers, he has wrecked havoc on our plots and has become our one arch enemy.

But the Christian Reconstructionists will strike back, with all two readers behind us all the way!

Well, except for chick_4jesus83 on Wednesdays. She chats with her boyfriend on Wednesdays.

NONETHELESS!

We will reign! We will rule all! THE RECONSTRUCTIONISTS WILL LAY CLAIM TO ALL THINGS! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

...

...For Jesus, I mean...

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