Tuesday, July 05, 2005

It's Those WAVES Again

Hello, Christian Brothers!

I know I have not tended to you in a while, but I assure you it is for good reason. You see, the secularists found out where I lived and took the liberty of trashing my house and chasing me out of the country.

*Shakes fist*

So, needless to say, I am hiding out in another country until things calm down. I chose Japan because of the sensual cartoons alcohol women fantastic scenery. It is a coincidence--I repeat, a COINCIDENCE that I am now staying in the same country as this crazy female. I am NOT Ashtony, for I am not a woman and she is clearly some sort of heathen (she listens to rock music).

Anyhoo, the Sundays I've been here, I managed to find a Baptis church. However, the times I've been there, there's always been something amiss. I have yet to see an American flag or a plaque that says "God Bless America"--heck, the sermons aren't even in English. They're in Japanese. I confronted them with this.

"Don't you know Christianity is AMERICAN?"

But a woman looked puzzled and inquired, "But was not Jesus a Jew born in the Middle East?"

Augh! Crazy Jap-logic. They always find a way to turn the conversation to the JEWS.


Since I'm in Japan, I apologize in advance for the lack of usual artistic qualities my pictures have. I tried asking the man at the hotel about "photoshop" but he only spat at me and began rambling about "bakas"--whatever those are.

I come to you today to reference the tragedy we all face--that the Supreme Court, as usual, has crawled under the table screeched over the danger of religious "thingees". In a move that shocked all but people who have been concious the past decade, the Supreme Court declared the 10 Commandments were "too scary," "too God-ish," and "just too plain homophobic" to remain in their presence.

Besides their laughable terror of anything religious, there's really no reason to worry over the hum of the impending sand-blasters. "What's that you say?" you tell me. "You're saying that removing a rock from a building does not mean the end of the world?"
Well, not in THIS case, my Brother.

You see, sure they're removing it, but those magical, fairy-enchanted brain waves that constantly pulse from this stone has already taken effect. That's what the judges didn't tell you--that religious object emit mystical waves that make people "religious and stuff."

Scientists are still baffled by the religious thing, but let's give 'em credit for trying.

If you look at any blogs, even the liberal, abortion-loving ones (like Glenn Reynolds), you see they are already leaping to the 10 Commandments' defense. This is just the brain waves successfully taking control. Soon, they'll be zombies just like the rest of us.

Although Magnum Serpentine has not been with us, I'm sure he'd have something meaningful to say. But, I don't. So...

Just like it take controooooool~...


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